Styling yourself for midlife might not be as hard as we thought.

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I was frantic and sweaty and getting more and more pissed. 

Racing around trying to get my top-of-the-morning tea while cleaning up kitchen chaos from the night before, I noticed that the air coming out was NOT 73 and could not be 73 because it was too hot. 

And that was freaking me out because I was starting to sweat.

I hate sweating unless I’m intending to sweat.

It’s Dec. 29 in North Florida and I can’t open the windows because the damn pollen has started and I didn’t realize that until it was too late and now I have to vacuum my entire downstairs because I kept the patio doors open.

No one tells you that you get pollen for Christmas in Florida.

I had my patio door open the last few days, enjoying high 70’s and sun and this is the price I pay.

So now I have to vacuum every Bleepity-Bleep thing so it doesn’t make me ITCH & sneeze. 

It’s about time I  vacuumed anyway so whatever.

(This is why I’m pissed.)

Squirrel!! THIS IS A SNIPPET OF WHY I’M NOT RICH BY NOW.

I have just enough OCD tendencies to keep me from being spectacularly productive.

(at least that’s what I tell myself.)

So, also NO SECRET, I’m midlife by now and if you’re suspecting my frantic sweat was driven by hot flashiness I did figure that out midway into frantically adjusting the thermostat.

You see, I was pissed because I had BIGGER FISH TO FRY.

I had to write an email to Leanne Morgan’s agent saying that I might be a few years late to the party, but I’d love to be counted in the running to be her stylist. 

I adore that woman, and she has hips and gets sweaty at midlife and these 20-year-old stylists just aren’t going to cut it, ya know what I mean?

So IN THE PROCESS, I discovered she has a MENOPAUSE PODCAST. 

It’s called SWEATY & PISSED. 

(how amazingly accurate.)

I’m including one of her video podcasts because she’s just so yummy.  wink wink.

Leanne Morgan has PODCASTS??

(And even more delightfully, she now has several!)

WHERE HAVE I BEEN?

(My midlife brain slowly remembers…… I was traveling Europe and the South for 5 years with The New Man.)

In her podcast, she joked that “the housedress should make a comeback, but we can’t do that now.”

And I’m thinking, Why the hell not?

Serendipitously the day before I’d worn a horrifyingly ugly housedress thing over my clothes that someone donated to me because it was a rag intended for such duties as cleaning or painting, and I was painting.

After I stopped looking at how ugly the print was, I noticed one specific trait it had.

 It was sooooooooo comfy. 

 

And I thought to myself, What if I could design cute housedresses and wear them when I do things that make me sweaty?

 

Like cleaning and doing laundry?

Like grandmas used to wear with no bras?

I remember those days. Grandmas who did not give one sh*t about whether their breasts were free-roaming but their cookies were delicious.

(Because they had more important things to do.)

 Sidenote: I no longer wear bras at home unless I think I might see someone from the outside world.

All along the grandmas had it right.

I need something that will allow wind to blow up my midsection.

Here’s what helped ME with Frantic Mid-life Peri-Menopause Sweatiness – and Pollen Allergies.

1. Turned off the fan setting (which usually kicks on cool when it needs to) and turned to regular A/C. Turns out, being cold and especially sleeping in the cold helps women sleep AND burn off more midlife fat. A/C for the win! 

They also say you should sleep naked so if you feel inclined…

2. Took a delicately-placed cold shower with the wand because you people who put your entire body under cold water are savage! Get your body temp down.

3. Remembered to take Butterbur to prevent allergic reactions as I was vacuuming. (Butterbur has helped me more than any other product!!!)  For even better results, add Quercetin, which has many, many other health benefits as well.

4. Disgusted that I keep forgetting to take my Evening Primrose Oil Capsules which got rid of my hot flashes in ONE DAY!!! Note to self: When I wake up sweaty, I’ve forgotten to take the damn things. 

So what I did for All Y’all is….. picked out some cool, cute, mostly linen or cotton SUMMER HOUSE/DRESSES for us that I WOULD wear both in and out of the house! (Like I do for my Style Clients 🙂

Here are a 5 cute non-sweaty dresses I found on Amazon that are just what you’ll love for a new spin on Grandma HouseDress Styling! (and yes, I may get an affiliate commission if you purchase.)

Cotton Button-Down Maxi Shirt Dress

Cotton Summer Lounge Dress with Pockets

Smock Tunic Summer Dress

Black Maxi Long Nightgown Dress

Women’s V-Neck Tunic Dress

You’re welcome.

PS. No longer sweaty, frantic or pissed.